igpayatinlay

Family is here tonight. And Man Alive, I'm going to be updating this with random anecdotes that are a mix of stupid and or mildly offensive.

Up first is this beauty:

My Aunt Sonya: Did you work today?
Me: Yep.
Sonya: And you're done already? (It's 6:30)
Me: Yeah.
Sonya: Short day then.
Me: No, actually. Eight and a half hours, I had to cover my shift and the other girl who had to take her sister to the emergency room, so it was a double.
Sonya: Should've been done later than this, then. Double shifts aren't eight hours, they're sixteen. What job has shifts that are less than eight hours?
Me: I work in a restaurant, so I'm on my feet the whole time, so...
Sonya: Doesn't matter, that's not a double shift.
Me: *stares* Okay.
My Uncle Gary: So your cousin doesn't accept text messages anymore, since it's ten cents each.
Me: Well, it's usually ten cents to send a text message, if you don't have that feature on your plan.
Gary: And it costs like, forty dollars to GET that feature!
Me: For me it costs five.
Gary: No it doesn't.
Me: ... yep.
Gary: Well for her, it was ten cents each to accept them.
Me: I've never heard of a charge for that. To send them, yeah, it's ten cents each.
Gary: Just don't text message your cousin.
Me: Okay. (btw, never have, never will. Don't even have her cell #)
My Aunt Judy: Well we don't need electricity! If it's sunny, we have the solar panels! (They drive around in an RV, a HUGE one, they're talking about if they need to plug it in)
Sonya: But not enough to run the air conditioner.
Judy: No.
Me: Aaaaah, irony.
Them: *blank faces*
Judy: What?
Upon discovery that I have a contraption that can download and play movies (my Netflix disc for my Wii), ANY movies?! Well, lots of them, yes; we are now watching - drumroll - Driving Miss Daisy.