(no subject)

[igpayatinlay]

Family is here tonight. And Man Alive, I'm going to be updating this with random anecdotes that are a mix of stupid and or mildly offensive.

Up first is this beauty:

• My Aunt Sonya: Did you work today?
  Me: Yep.
  Sonya: And you're done already? (It's 6:30)
  Me: Yeah.
  Sonya: Short day then.
  Me: No, actually. Eight and a half hours, I had to cover my shift and the other girl who had to take her sister to the emergency room, so it was a double.
  Sonya: Should've been done later than this, then. Double shifts aren't eight hours, they're sixteen. What job has shifts that are less than eight hours?
  Me: I work in a restaurant, so I'm on my feet the whole time, so...
  Sonya: Doesn't matter, that's not a double shift.
  Me: *stares* Okay.
• My Uncle Gary: So your cousin doesn't accept text messages anymore, since it's ten cents each.
  Me: Well, it's usually ten cents to send a text message, if you don't have that feature on your plan.
  Gary: And it costs like, forty dollars to GET that feature!
  Me: For me it costs five.
  Gary: No it doesn't.
  Me: ... yep.
  Gary: Well for her, it was ten cents each to accept them.
  Me: I've never heard of a charge for that. To send them, yeah, it's ten cents each.
  Gary: Just don't text message your cousin.
  Me: Okay. (btw, never have, never will. Don't even have her cell #)
• My Aunt Judy: Well we don't need electricity! If it's sunny, we have the solar panels! (They drive around in an RV, a HUGE one, they're talking about if they need to plug it in)
  Sonya: But not enough to run the air conditioner.
  Judy: No.
  Me: Aaaaah, irony.
  Them: *blank faces*
  Judy: What?
• Upon discovery that I have a contraption that can download and play movies (my Netflix disc for my Wii), ANY movies?! Well, lots of them, yes; we are now watching - drumroll - Driving Miss Daisy.