(no subject)

[igpayatinlay]

Update on the fortune cookies: I feel better about having a fortune cookie call me fat. Why? One, I've been at the gym three of the past five days. Two, I saved more fortunes to compile into a list for you, because I have been inspired to someday have a character whose occupation is to write fortunes, and have them be monumentally inept.

• A confidential tip will clue you in to a great financial deal. Imagine the pyramid and ponzi schemes that people would fall into if they believed this. One of my former co-workers was always trying to sell Kangen Water Systems to EVERYONE he spoke to; those things are expennnnsive.
• Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Whether or not it is, we can debate. What we cannot debate is that this is in no way a fortune.
• A good deed makes you feel good. Again, not so much a fortune as a general life statement made by someone with poor vocabulary.
• You might prosper in the field of medicine. And I might prosper in the field of deep ocean welding, too, but both seem a little unlikely? I appreciate the contrast between the specificity of the field and the uncertainty about the success, for everyone who is gravely afraid of needles or faints at the sight of blood.
• If you've got it, flaunt it. No commentary needed, other than maybe to pair it with "Work on improving your exercise routine."

Comments

[droa.insanejournal.com]

My favorite fortune cookie fortune to date has been 'you will succeed at everything you put your hands to', which was only lulzy because it immediately followed a story I'd been told about a business meeting and a poor German man who unthinkingly referred to himself as a 'master beta-tester', but slurred the words.

[igpayatinlay.insanejournal.com]

Hah! That makes it extra lulzy. It's lulzy already from the 'in bed' addition, and the fact that it's one of the most "your whole life will be awesome" fortunes I've heard. Poor German business man!