(no subject)

Update on the fortune cookies: I feel better about having a fortune cookie call me fat. Why? One, I've been at the gym three of the past five days. Two, I saved more fortunes to compile into a list for you, because I have been inspired to someday have a character whose occupation is to write fortunes, and have them be monumentally inept.

• A confidential tip will clue you in to a great financial deal. Imagine the pyramid and ponzi schemes that people would fall into if they believed this. One of my former co-workers was always trying to sell Kangen Water Systems to EVERYONE he spoke to; those things are expennnnsive.
• Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Whether or not it is, we can debate. What we cannot debate is that this is in no way a fortune.
• A good deed makes you feel good. Again, not so much a fortune as a general life statement made by someone with poor vocabulary.
• You might prosper in the field of medicine. And I might prosper in the field of deep ocean welding, too, but both seem a little unlikely? I appreciate the contrast between the specificity of the field and the uncertainty about the success, for everyone who is gravely afraid of needles or faints at the sight of blood.
• If you've got it, flaunt it. No commentary needed, other than maybe to pair it with "Work on improving your exercise routine."